What We Learned During Our Third Month On The Road

Today marks three months since we locked the door to our house in Florida and set off for a year-long adventure in an RV. Here’s what we learned during the past month:

You don’t have to put all your slides out. You don’t have to have anything more than soup for dinner. You don’t have to go to the most popular sites in any given location. You don’t have to use the propane stove if the Instant Pot is easier. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Unless it’s filling up with gas or diesel when you plan to do some driving, you don’t have to.

You’re slower to kill bugs in your rig, even when you really, really want to. A living thing shouldn’t die just because it’s in the wrong place at the wrong time, and after the risks and challenges you’ve faced on your journey, you now understand that in a way you never did before.

That previous lesson doesn’t apply to mosquitoes. They cannot – CANNOT – be in your bedroom when you’re trying to sleep. Ants don’t count, either. Or moths.

All the cool things to do in Montana, Wyoming, and Colorado are high up in the mountains, and involve big drop-offs with no guardrails. If you have a deep fear of heights, you’re going to have to choose between enduring the terror and spending your day ugly crying, or settling for the beauty of the mountains from the valleys and canyon floors.

Seeing mountains from valleys and canyon floors makes for spectacular viewing.

You’ve become an expert at giving the toilet paper a little toss backwards after you wipe, so that it doesn’t stick to the front or side of the bowl and require a massive amount of water to flush it down. Go, you!

Put the d@mned pool noodles on the edges of your slide-outs, you great steaming numpty. You’ve had them for two months, but have you put them on? No, you haven’t. And now you’ve got a bloody noggin. Stop being lazy and just do it.

The first thing you do when you pull into a new “brand” of gas station is download their discount app, and the joy you feel when you get ten cents off per gallon is worth the hassle of getting those crappy apps to work.

Each time you pull the bottle of expensive gin out of the storage area under the sink you’ll feel a little bit wistful for the beautiful collection of cut-glass decanters back in your sticks-and-bricks.

When you see people pointing their phones at the side of a hill as you’re touring in your car, stop. Not only will you get to share in a spectacular wildlife spotting or scenic view, you’ll also meet some pretty cool people and hear about their travels. Bonus points if they’re motorcyclists. They’re some of the friendliest people.

Few things feel better than being able to give your campground neighbor some rope to strap their tarp down when they have a leak in their rig during a thunderstorm, and a clean towel to sop up the water. Whatever it is you can do to be helpful, do it.

You’re starting to get the hang of this, you fabulous human, you!